There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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