Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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