yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
