Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
