Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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