Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
