It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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