They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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