I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
