Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
