Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast