I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.