Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.