Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
