Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
