My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just googled if crying burns calories
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
