Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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