can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
