He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
be right there i have to get my cape
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You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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