this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
