In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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