nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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