I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
