He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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