Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
