It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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