My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
