I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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