I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize