he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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