Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
