Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
