She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
