I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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