I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I got inside last night via doggy door
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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