I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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