is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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