Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
