Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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