best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
