i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
