Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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