Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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