69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
