I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
