Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So squirting runs in the family.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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