there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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