So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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