Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
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That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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