I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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