i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm like, not good at living.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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