just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
