you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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