Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
