it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
