I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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