I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
